This, uhh, "home" is the embodiment of New Ballard

"Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo" (thetomselleck) 01/23/2019 at 23:08 • Filed to: Fintail hacked my account

0

57

Hideous detached townhome, awful staging art to pander to bad stereotypes, tons of stairs, and world’s smallest kitchen, on a crazy busy noisy drag (15th AVE NW! TERRIBLE!) — but only $700,000!

That’s it. That’s the whole kitchen. 700k

Did a 13 year old attempt to draw Supergirl’s ass? Sweet hipster bike, too.

A R T. It says A R T !!!

Looks like a tumor.

I have worked in many many houses in my day. I have shared a mere fraction of some the more intentionally-controversial ones on here. But this is just...

Thanks for clicking 

https://www.redfin.com/WA/Seattle/7536-15th-Ave-NW-98117/unit-B/home/148734894?utm_source=android_share&utm_medium=share&utm_nooverride=1&utm_content=link

BrianGriffin thinks “reliable” is just a state of mind > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 01/23/2019 at 23:14

0

Dude, I say this to almost ever you place you post, but I LOVE IT. The kitchen is very pretty for a city(ish) townhome. 

Chan - Mid-engine with cabin fever > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 01/23/2019 at 23:14

0

Attached garages at least?

HFV has no HFV. But somehow has 2 motorcycles > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 01/23/2019 at 23:15

0

So the Super Girl panty shot is on the listing...

y’all know she’s like 15 right? (Incert “we got him” meme sound clip here”)

Also that ART art looks like my middle school note book. And that’s fine. But a bit pretentious in this context. 

AestheticsInMotion > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 01/23/2019 at 23:16

1

I would love to have that kitchen...

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

In an affordable 1 bedroom apartment

Oh and I j ust saw the tag. I love it

Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo > BrianGriffin thinks “reliable” is just a state of mind 01/23/2019 at 23:16

0

Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo > Chan - Mid-engine with cabin fever 01/23/2019 at 23:18

1

From the link:

“Parking information:

NO PARKING"

BrianGriffin thinks “reliable” is just a state of mind > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 01/23/2019 at 23:19

0

I love concrete, rectangle windows, and hipster bullshit. 

Rusty Vandura - www.tinyurl.com/keepoppo > HFV has no HFV. But somehow has 2 motorcycles 01/23/2019 at 23:20

0

That is not a 15-YO butt. Pretentious? What do you mean by that?

Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo > BrianGriffin thinks “reliable” is just a state of mind 01/23/2019 at 23:22

1

Wait, aren't most windows rectangles when you think about it? 

Spanfeller is a twat > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 01/23/2019 at 23:23

0

Man, america is wierd, just for fun lets see what Sothebys will give you for 700k in Mexico....

Richest city in Mexico:

https://www.sothebysrealty.com/eng/sales/detail/180-l-83245-v95dng/monterrey-san-pedro-garza-garcia-nl-66259

Then there's Nuevo Vallarta, which is sort of the Metropolitan area of Puerto Vallarta, a city that is growing rather quickly.

https://www.sothebysrealty.com/eng/sales/detail/180-l-647-6dg9ev/paseo-de-los-cocoteros-686-pte-puerto-vallarta-ja-63732

Chariotoflove > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 01/23/2019 at 23:23

2

Art on the wall that says “ART”?! I can’t even.

As sterile as the whole thing looks on the inside, that kitchen space looks pretty well laid out, even given its size.

The outside there is no excuse for.

Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo > Chariotoflove 01/23/2019 at 23:26

1

What’s next? A car called “The Car?”

Oh.

gmporschenut also a fan of hondas > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 01/23/2019 at 23:26

4

WTF is this shit? (wouldn’t mind the art though)

HFV has no HFV. But somehow has 2 motorcycles > Rusty Vandura - www.tinyurl.com/keepoppo 01/23/2019 at 23:27

0

Looks like your average skinny butt to me. Nothing particularly adult about it.

As for why the graffiti-ish painting is pretentious, idk it just seems like it’s a bit try-hard. Trying to be cool, urban and edgy while also insisting that it be considered high art.   Also I just noticed the spray painted rug and it makes that graffiti ART painting much more tolerable,  because it seems actually silly and cool.

Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo > gmporschenut also a fan of hondas 01/23/2019 at 23:29

0

It's a wet room with 4 walls of sheetrock instead of being a full wet room. Also, that water will eat through the sheetrock just past the tile which does not extend out an extra row of each side like it should. Yaaaaaaay

HFV has no HFV. But somehow has 2 motorcycles > BrianGriffin thinks “reliable” is just a state of mind 01/23/2019 at 23:30

3

A type writter and a cattus, on a stench table that isn’t angled in a way that would make for comfortable sketching  tho? That is peak hipster bullshit.

Chariotoflove > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 01/23/2019 at 23:30

3

That so low-class. Sheesh. At least you’d never see that with the better makes.

Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo > Chariotoflove 01/23/2019 at 23:32

0

Hmm... Never realized how ugly that is.

AestheticsInMotion > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 01/23/2019 at 23:32

1

Is this a thing now around here? Possibly my least favorite trend if so

Right around the same level of NOPE as the communal living studios where eight 250sq/ft units share one kitchen and laundry center i n the heart of downtown areas, for $900+/month, with no parking.

Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo > AestheticsInMotion 01/23/2019 at 23:36

1

If I ever see this, usually the entire room is properly tiled . I call it a sex dungeon if it has no windows , usually out of earshot of customers. Funny story, I’ve been in the home of a certain former Seahawk who had one. In fact, one  entire level of his home was j ust for sex parties :|

Daily Drives a Dragon - One Last Lap > Chariotoflove 01/23/2019 at 23:36

1

It’s marginally better than that BMW art car.

Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo > HFV has no HFV. But somehow has 2 motorcycles 01/23/2019 at 23:44

2

Stopstophecanonlygetsoerect.gif

Chariotoflove > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 01/23/2019 at 23:51

0

It really is.

Chariotoflove > Daily Drives a Dragon - One Last Lap 01/23/2019 at 23:54

0

There is this full size 911 art car (not really a car, just a cast) painted in flowers that they put out at various places in our nearby fashion mall.  At first I thought it was kind of cool.  Now I just think it looks tacky as the BMW art car but not even a real car.

npc58501 > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 01/23/2019 at 23:56

1

This place...the way the 1st floor is... guaranteed to either have bums shitting in the door or the windows broken or both within the 1st week.

No parking? At 700k? If you’re rich enough for a 700k house, wouldn’t you want to have a car or truck to keep your distance from the poors? The whole house is a giant virtue signal of vapidity. Don’t get me started on the “art”.

Svend > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 01/23/2019 at 23:58

0

The ground floor with all that glazing looks like it could be a small store with two small student apartments above 

DipodomysDeserti > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 01/24/2019 at 00:03

0

The outside looks like a self storage unit. Is it ART!?

Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo > npc58501 01/24/2019 at 00:11

0

700k is "cheap" for Seattle, sadly.

Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo > DipodomysDeserti 01/24/2019 at 00:11

2

If they wrote "ART" on the outside, it would be

NKato > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 01/24/2019 at 00:12

0

Bulldoze it all. 

Future Heap Owner > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 01/24/2019 at 00:14

0

You were not kidding about that art

facw > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 01/24/2019 at 00:17

0

world’s smallest kitchen 

You obviously have never been in any of my apartments. Also I still hate the counter seating, even in small kitchens. This was probably the smallest:

(though we didn’t have the in unit W/D when I lived there, I’m a bit jealous. On the other hand adding it seems, at least on their floor plan, to no longer allow a dining table in the dining room, which is sub-optimal )

I’ve had friends in much smaller ones than that even in places that cost $3000/month , at least this one fit full-sized appliances  and a dishwasher.

Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo > facw 01/24/2019 at 00:27

0

Why split up those closets like that instead of having one wide versatile reach-in? BOOOO

If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 01/24/2019 at 00:33

3

That’s twice as much kitchen as I’m used to. I’d literally murder a puppy for that counter space.

Vítor > Spanfeller is a twat 01/24/2019 at 00:34

1

700k USD goes quite far here as well, you could have this view of Copacabana in Rio for 420k

http://www.rioexclusive.com/pt-br/venda-propriedade/rio278-apartamento-no-vidigal

Or if you want something bigger in instead of the penthouse this beachfront apartment also in Copacabana is just under 800k

http://www.rioexclusive.com/pt-br/venda-propriedade/rio258-apartamento-no-leme

Spanfeller is a twat > Vítor 01/24/2019 at 00:39

0

I  mean its impressive, but in Mexico and Brazil those houses are basically unobtainable....but if you get a foreign salary, LatAm gives you a lot of bang per buck

Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent 01/24/2019 at 00:42

0

But... 700k!!!

If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 01/24/2019 at 00:47

1

That would be 1.5 million if plopped down in my town. More if there’s a view of the water. 700k is a steal. Here 700k gets you an ugly-ass 1300sqft split ranch

https://www.zillow.com/homes/for_sale/Edgartown-MA-02539/56024918_zpid/58797_rid/globalrelevanceex_sort/41.476303,-70.396786,41.315594,-70.692044_rect/11_zm/3_p/

Chan - Mid-engine with cabin fever > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 01/24/2019 at 00:49

1

Crack pipe

Vítor > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 01/24/2019 at 00:52

1

I don’t understand what’s the problem with just building 4-5 levels attached multi-family buildings. Why the need of cramped , multiple floors townhouses when you could have a better use of the same space through a single floor apartment. Stairs should be only used when arriving and leaving, not when you are in the bedroom  and wants a snack

Much better

Deal Killer - Powered by Focus > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 01/24/2019 at 00:55

1

My knees hurt just thinking about all the stairs in that dwelling. There is one condo development here in Toledo that are multi-story town homes. I think they have four or five levels. I only had to walk up once, and I was tired. I couldn’t even dream of living in a place where I was constantly walking up stairs every day. Yuck.

RiceRocketeer Extraordinaire > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 01/24/2019 at 00:57

0

EVERYDAY I’M HUSTLIN

If I saw that at an open house I’d drop it in a toilet and leave a nice steaming turd on top .

Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent 01/24/2019 at 00:58

0

wat a deel

Vítor > Spanfeller is a twat 01/24/2019 at 01:06

0

Oh for sure, there is a reason for why so many locals in theirs late 20s/early 30s are still living with their parents, and when they aren’t they are renting and co- renting instead of buying: Real-Estate in the big cities  is still expensive as fuck if your income is in Reais

That penthouse would cost around 115 years of the national minimum salary. But as you said, if you are a nomad worker or receives in USD/EUR you are pretty much a king here

facw > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 01/24/2019 at 01:15

0

I assume it made the doors cheaper (they were pretty cheap).

JoshROOSTER > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 01/24/2019 at 01:36

0

...and this is why I bought in Tacoma!

I got a real house with a 2 car garage and a yard and not a single neighbor that would be into trash like that!

Almost a quarter of the price and just a bit of my soul each day as I commute 3 1/2 hours to work in a golf r. I still think I win!

pip bip - choose Corrour > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 01/24/2019 at 03:17

0

welcome to Melbourne

(if only my comment was sarcasm)

shop-teacher > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 01/24/2019 at 07:18

0

But it's French, so it's cheeky.

Rusty Vandura - www.tinyurl.com/keepoppo > HFV has no HFV. But somehow has 2 motorcycles 01/24/2019 at 07:31

1

Gotcha. I am serious about diction, but pretentious is not a word that I ever use and I was curious about your thoughts . I think the entire setup is a bit bizarre, not knowing what the heck it wants to be. Perhaps the dissonance is about the location and wanting to attract progressive young techie people and, hence, the questionable art choices.

OPPOsaurus WRX > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 01/24/2019 at 07:56

0

why?

Tapas > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 01/24/2019 at 07:59

0

I hate it when they split the dining, kitchen and living into more than one floor.

Had they built apartments with the same amount of space on one floor, it would have been huge and amazing.

But no! It’s got to be D E T A C H E D

ADabOfOppo; Gone Plaid (Instructables Can Be Confusable) > Deal Killer - Powered by Focus 01/24/2019 at 08:01

0

It’s actually pretty good cardio. 

Tapas > gmporschenut also a fan of hondas 01/24/2019 at 08:04

0

No, you don’t get it. Y ou’re S U P P O S E D to make your painted walls, wall art, toilet seat and everything else wet every time you shower.

That’s how the millenials do it. Just hang half a kitchen’s backsplash in a a room not really made to handle water and I’ll be a happy bather!

Spanfeller is a twat > Vítor 01/24/2019 at 09:09

0

What I do sometimes for people to truly understand costs of living is multiplying the costs here times the difference in GDP.

So, the apprtment in the most expensive city, the GDP there is 27,000usd I think, and in some cities of the US its 65,000.

So, you take (65/27)*700k and you get what it would cost if it wh ere in the US, its not that accurate but I use it to compare salaries and it normally works.

Svart Smart, traded in his Smart > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 01/24/2019 at 09:48

0

I don’t think I could ever buy a house with a flat roof, no matter how great the views are (probably not that great from these units). I’ve seen too many leaks.

Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo > Svart Smart, traded in his Smart 01/24/2019 at 09:51

1

I was just at a new project in Eastlake with flat roof and skylites. The skylites have already been replaced due to leaking issues.

bubblestheturtle > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 01/24/2019 at 18:59

0

I fear a world where $700k is preceded by “only”.